


LV Up, Bow Out

by CatKing_Catkin



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Affection, Assisted Suicide, Bad Jokes, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Bonding, Developing Relationship, Fix-It of Sorts, Friendship, Gen, Mercy Killing, Protectiveness, Spoilers - Pacifist Route, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 03:52:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5032693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatKing_Catkin/pseuds/CatKing_Catkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The barrier is broken. The monsters are free. All is well.</p><p>No matter how much Sans tells himself that, he still can't quite manage to believe it. And so, before setting off with his brother into this brave new world, Sans returns to the Underground to tie up one last loose end. </p><p>Who he finds there amidst a field of golden flowers surprises him. What they ask him to do surprises him even worse. </p><p>But in the end, after a chat, Sans does a favor for a friend of a friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	LV Up, Bow Out

**Author's Note:**

> Before you read any further, PLEASE TAKE NOTE - this fic deals with themes of assisted suicide, and the ideas of "mercy killing". If those are topics that are particularly uncomfortable or triggering to you, please do not read further, or at least be braced if you do. I understand and accept that many people headcanon or read Asriel as having depression or something similar. That is not the interpretation that informed this fic. Instead, this fic is informed more from my own experiences watching the progression of and living with the risk of Alzheimer's. This fic DOES NOT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING - how much of it you see as bitter and how much of it you see as sweet is up to your own interpretation, as it was up to mine. 
> 
> I know everyone seems to have their own interpretation of how much of Asriel lingers on after the Pacifist Route, or just how much it's possible to "save" him. This is mine. 
> 
> The original prompt on tumblr was "what if Sans meets Asriel and recognizes he was the original Anomaly, but promised Frisk not to judge him too harshly" from fridurmus, but things kind of spun out from there.

“you’re a hard kid to find.”

 Asriel flinched, letting out a yelp of surprise before peering anxiously over his shoulder. There at the edge of the field of flowers, where Frisk had stood what seemed like moments before, now stood…

Sans grinned, and gave him a little wave before tucking both hands back into the pockets of his hoodie. “yep. hey. it’s me.” He tilted his head, and the way the shadows suddenly caught his face made Asriel shiver a little. “‘smiley trashbag’, right?”

When he’d been Flowey, there had been few beings he’d despised more than this particular monster. Now that he was Asriel again, at least for a little longer, there were few monsters that he could possibly have been sorrier to see. Sans might have caused him his fair share of resets, in the past, but Flowey had taken advantage of any possible opportunity to get revenge for it.

He could still remember how distressingly easy it had been, sometimes, especially whenever he’d taken the chance to get his hooks into Papyrus. He didn’t want to remember. He didn’t want to look back and know that all of those terrible things had been _his_ doing, but the memories had remained and soon they would be all he had left.

Asriel swallowed painfully. “W-Why were you trying to find me?” he stammered. His voice was little more than a whisper choked with dread. “I thought you’d be at the barrier, with the others. Or outside already. Frisk was going back to meet you. You must have just missed them.”

“nah. the kid made it back okay. but you know, uh, before that, they were walking a while. i started wondering just how far they meant to go. i mean…” And here Sans gestured about, at the tiny little rocky cavern, at the distant light far overhead from the world beyond, at the golden flowers beneath Asriel’s feet. “…these ruins are about as far back as it gets, right? at least if you start from the barrier. and since the queen was up there with us, who would they have to see here?”

Despite everything, Asriel felt a tiny smile tug at his lips. “I was just as surprised as you, that they came to see me.”

“hehehe…frisk takes people like that.” To Asriel’s frank astonishment, Sans offered him a conspiratorial wink, before carrying on with a shrug. “anyway, i made sure to take a peek outside, with everyone else. my brother, he’s already off chasing the sun.” His eyes half-closed. His voice grew distant, and unmistakably fond. “knowing him, he might just catch it.”

“So why aren’t you there with him?

“i will be.” Asriel thought that Sans sounded almost surprised, to hear himself say the words. The skeleton drew himself up a little straighter, and repeated himself as though to convince himself. “soon. i will be. it won’t take me long to get back.” Skeletons often couldn’t help but smile, of course, but the one Sans wore in that moment was just a little softer than it had been a second ago. “i know a shortcut, after all.”

“But first…you’re here to kill me, aren’t you?”

It felt strange, to say the words aloud. Strange, but better, as though a noose had loosened a little around his heart that the silence and emptiness had tightened. Sans, on the other hand, obviously hadn’t been expecting to hear those words spoken aloud. He actually stepped back, shoulders hunching defensively. The moment of retreat, brief as it was, was even more noticeable considering that he hadn’t even been willing to even step onto the field of flowers itself.

Sans looked left, then right, as though seeking out an escape route or even just any answer but the one they both knew he would give. Finally, with an apologetic shrug, he looked back at Asriel. “i’m not gonna lie to you, kid. that was the plan, at first. back when i thought all i’d find here was a yellow flower i could rip up by the roots. just…tying up loose ends? seeing if there was a way i could finally breathe easy?” He seemed to wilt a little at the sound of his own voice. “yeah, there’s…really no way to admit this that doesn’t sound awful, is there?”

“That’s still all you’ve found. A flower you should rip up by the roots. I just haven’t turned back yet.”

“maybe you won’t.” Sans spoke with an admirable attempt at cheerfulness that nevertheless rang as hollow as his ribcage. “you, uh, you haven’t yet, right?”

“But I will.” Asriel hated the certainty with which he spoke. He ached to reach out for Sans’ attempts at reassurance just as he had ached to reach out to Frisk for forgiveness. Yet he knew in his bones that this _was_ a certainty. “It’s like pouring water out of a glass. There might still be water in it for a little while. But eventually, the glass always empties.”

He spread his arms wide and looked straight at Sans, who suddenly couldn’t look back at him. Asriel’s voice grew stronger with conviction, the sound of his own echoes bolstering his determination. “So you should still do it! Now, while you have the chance! While I can still want you to! While Frisk still has the power to SAVE. I won’t be able to reset as long as they can!”

Sans took another step back, and Asriel felt his heart skip in sudden, sharp terror that the skeleton might lose his nerve, might _leave_ him there alone to slowly transform back into that monster, to never feel anything again…

Wildly, desperately, heedless and thoughtless of anything but avoiding that terrible fate, the child plunged on. “B-Because if you don’t…after I change back, I’ll find you again! I know I will! All I’ll be able to do is hate you! I’ll find you and I’ll hurt you again, o-or worse, I’ll suck you all in again so you’re nothing but a part of me a-and you forget everything! Even your brother! And he’ll forget you, and—”

Asriel didn’t get the chance to finish. With a yelp, he suddenly found himself yanked bodily off the ground and held three feet in the air by a phantom grip that was nevertheless as strong as steel. He looked down, and Sans looked back up at him. The skeleton’s right eye was glowing a bright, cold blue. The other was empty of anything at all. One hand was extended into the air, bony fingers splayed.

Asriel felt hot tears in his eyes. He hadn’t realized that they’d started to gather in the midst of his anguish. Held up as he was, they trickled down his cheeks to fall onto the flowers below, nourished by the body of the human he’d once thought a friend.

“I know you remember what it feels like,” he stammered, hiccupping piteously, all pretenses of malice gone. He couldn’t bring himself to even pretend to be that awful anymore. Not now, while he still had a choice. His tattered, fading soul hurt from even making the attempt. “What he must have felt, too. Your brother, and everyone else. Th-That’s what it’s like for me, when I’m him. Empty. Lost. _Please_ …”

A moment passed, and then two, and Sans remained as frozen as a statue. Asriel held his breath, expecting the final blow at any moment.

Instead, Sans closed his eyes. Very, very gently, he lowered Asriel back down into the field of flowers.

“sorry, but, uh, i’m not in the habit of killing kids. even if i almost made an exception, once upon a time.” He opened his eyes, and they were normal once more. He lifted his head to look back at the boy. “and i’ve got to wonder, if you really want to die so bad…i mean, i get why you couldn’t ask frisk to do this for you, but why don’t you do it yourself?”

Asriel knew the answer. He’d asked himself the question so many times in such a comparatively short while.

That didn’t make the truth any less pathetic, or any easier to say. Certainly not as the tears continued to fall thick and fast, as his throat grew tight with barely swallowed sobs.

 “I’m _scared_.”

He’d asked himself that question too many times already. From the start, he’d known what he should do, for his own good, for everyone’s good, while he still had the chance and the choice. That didn’t change the fact that every time he thought about doing so, his hands started to shake and he got so _scared_ that he felt like he was going to be sick.

He really was such a crybaby. Chara would be laughing at him right now. Maybe they were, from the grave beneath his feet.

Asriel couldn’t put all of this to words. Asriel felt as though he could barely _breathe_ , in that moment, let alone speak. But Sans seemed to hear him anyway.

The skeleton took one step forward, and then another, and then he hesitated for the barest moment before stepping onto the field of flowers itself, and crossing over to where Asriel sat sobbing. Even with what resolve he’d been able to muster, Asriel felt himself start to tremble as death approached.

“c’mere, kid.”

Instead, Sans held out his arms. His eyes were sad, but his smile was kind. Scarcely daring to believe it, but powerless to resist the offer, Asriel inched forward and let himself be pulled into a hug. It felt strange, to say the least, to be hugging a skeleton, even one wearing a hoodie. Strange, but not unpleasant, especially when Sans tugged the hoodie a little around them both.

“you can stop trying to make me hate you. truth be told, you’re, uh, kind of bad at it. and besides…i think it took me a bit to realize it, but you know, i think i’ve already forgiven you.”

“You have?” Trying to breathe around tears, wiping futilely at his eyes, Asriel risked a peek up at Sans’ face. He was certain that the skeleton must be joking. It was genuinely hard to tell, especially knowing Sans as he did. “But…why?”

“well, i mean, it’s like you said.” Sans patted him gently on the head, and met his gaze with a wink. “we were all…in you, i guess? or we were a part of you, at least. we felt what you felt. and that was awful, and terrifying, but that also means we felt it when frisk forgave you, you know? and frisk is my friend, so, you know…if they think you’re okay, i think you’re okay. okay? honestly, i think if you asked most any monster in the underground, they’d probably say the same thing. even if they didn’t remember why.”

Asriel laughed, a hiccupping little giggle that nevertheless left him feeling as though the weight of the mountain itself had been lifted from his shoulders. “Frisk seems to have that effect on people.” Even as the laughter died away, his heart remained warm. “They’re a good friend, aren’t they?”

“yeah.”

“I’m glad they were mine. Even if it was only for a little while. You’ll take care of them, right?”

“sure, asriel.”

“You promise?”

“…yeah.” Asriel tried to ignore the way the voice of one of his greatest enemies shook and broke on just that one word. It was as though just the act of promising frightened Sans more than Flowey ever could. Yet he agreed anyway. In that moment, that meant the world. “i promise.”

“Thank you.”

“hey, asriel?”

“Yeah?”

“why do skeletons hate winter?”

It took Asriel several seconds to even process what had just been said. Even once he had, he was sure he must have misheard. Then he looked up at Sans, and realized that no, he hadn’t.

Sheer and simple shock drove Asriel on to ask, “I don’t know. Why _do_ skeletons hate winter?”

Sans grinned the broadest grin he could possibly manage, spreading his hands theatrically. “because the cold goes right through them!”

It was a joke that was objectively terrible on too many levels to count, and made all the worse by being entirely unexpected.

Asriel laughed anyway, as though it was the best joke he’d ever heard. It started off as giggles bubbling up in his chest, blossoming into chuckles and then full on laughter that made his sides ache and left him breathless. The laughter went on and on, warm and bright, so that when tears started to gather in his eyes once more it was for entirely different, entirely better reasons.

He just barely saw Sans move a hand out of the corner of his eye. Then there was a…a _noise_ , squishy and deceptively soft, and Asriel felt a sharp pain in his chest.

Only for a moment, though. Then shadows started to close in at the edges of his eyes, and the world slipped away with the pain and the last of the laughter. There was one last moment where all he could feel was Sans’ arms around him. There was one last moment where the last thing he heard was the skeleton’s voice, soft and fond.

 “yeah. just like your mom.”

Then Asriel closed his eyes, and let himself rest at last.


End file.
